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Had a long IM conversation with a friend I hadn’t seen in ages. Never really was particularly close to him, but he’s the type who doesn’t sugarcoat his words and we had a long conversation on a few things. There was something that had been bugging me for a while and when I hashed it out with him, he laid everything in front of me bluntly with genuine concern.

I guess I already kind of knew what he told me, and what actions that I needed to undertake. But it’s human nature. We always need someone to tell us what we already know because we ourselves don’t want to accept it and are secretly hoping that it’s not what we think it is; we’re hoping that what needs to be done is not what we know must be done. We need someone else to come in and slap us with a harsh dose of reality.

I’ve faced many problems of many kinds in my life. Some weirder than the usual. But I’m aware, and very thankful, for the fact that I’ve never had any really major problems that could completely engulf my life. But I’ve still had my fair share. And I hate it when people give me standard textbook advice.

Like when I was in my last job. God, I really hated it for many reasons. It wasn’t that I had an awful boss – she was OK. It was her husband I couldn’t stand. And I really didn’t like what I was doing, although my boss had “big plans” for me. I didn’t like being pigeonholed and having expectations laid upon me, because the goals and the dreams she wanted me to achieve were not the goals and the dreams were not mine.

So I complained to a friend. The thing was, I was aware that I had an opportunity, but I didn’t want this opportunity. And she said, “Then… you should work harder!” But I didn’t want to work harder. I wanted something else. (And that was how I fell into teaching)

That’s why whenever anyone asks me for advice, I never give them standard textbook advice. Especially to the students. I have not forgotten what it’s like to be a student, especially at the rebellious age. The standard textbook advice is always virtuous, right, and rigid… and never practical. It’s like doing a Moral paper without meaning a single word of it. I’m not the perfect Aunt Agony (if I were, I’d be making millions of dollars being a shrink for really rich people), but I do try to give advice in the best interest of all parties. It’s all up to the person whether he/she wishes to listen.

And there are some people who live almost fairy tale lives, where they don’t face any complicated problems. I’m not saying they don’t face any problems at all. They do. But their problems are the usual, average, common problems that everyone else faces, which means that there is a solution. So sometimes when I mention some of the problems I’ve encountered, they don’t understand. They’ll give me standard textbook advice, or try to advise me based on their limited experience or knowledge. Or they’ll be like, “I don’t understand, what’s so complicated?” Of course you don’t understand. You’ve never been through anything complicated before.

A friend once told me that in a strange way, God is fair. People who can’t deal with difficult issues will never suffer great difficulties; they’re the ones who will live these almost fairy tale lives, facing problems no more bigger than say, a broken thumbnail. Whereas people who are stronger will suffer these difficulties because they can. It doesn’t sound fair, but I suppose when you look at it this way, it’s fair in a strange way.

Sometimes I wish I’m not so strong. Then I’ll get to lead these fairy tale lives with little difficulty. But then I won’t be able to understand the problems that others face, especially complicated ones, because I’ve never been through a complicated problem. I think I can live with that though. (Big sigh)

(Big big sigh)

Anyway, on another completely different note, here’s a photo I took with a student today. I used Photoshop to edit the photo a little. It isn’t all that great editing, but at least I tried

Here’s the original photo taken with her phone camera	Here’s the edited photo!
Me with Ee Ping